The Benefits of Education During Lockdown
Week 6
I’m reduced to reading Tolkien
to The Dog, who hides under the table
when the Nazgûls come.
Week 7
I read him Barchester Towers,
but after page two he buries his nose
in his tail and falls asleep.
Week 8
On page two hundred and four
of the dictionary, there’s a smudge
shaped like a pawmark.
Week 9
Amazon’s delivered an Advanced Maths book
that I didn’t order, addressed to a Mr D Barker.
My spectacles have been missing for three days.
Week 10
The Dog’s left me a note, saying
that his food dish can be in two places
at once, so could I fill it twice.
Week 11
The Dog’s trying to teach me Tensor Calculus.
Stop complaining, he growls. How else
are you going to understand General Relativity?
Week 12
The Dog’s written a novel, vaccinated
half the population of Wales in his spare time,
and is phoning the local hospital about me.
Week 13
Owing to unfortunate circumstances, my human
will be writing no more entries. Please remain in your homes
and wait for the sound of barking at your door.
First published in The Poetry Archive Now Wordview Competition, 2021